My thoughts for the day

As I am hoping you know by now, I try to be as honest with people as possible. I try not to sugar coat things. With this said it has me thinking about a few things today. I have been wondering if my past is defining my future.....well of course it does but in this situation I wonder if being voted Miss Nieve in high school really has made me nieve. I feel extremely picked on lately. It makes me wonder why. Am I an easy target? I don't quite understand it. I don't really enjoy being picked on at all. I have a hard enough time as it is with self-confidence so why add fuel to the fire. I also don't believe that I am a fully energetic lively person that is full of charisma that has people draw to me and joke around with me. I guess I am throwing a small pity party. I find myself telling satan to LEAVE me alone. I do feel as though he is messing with my mind and I have to tell myself that I am beautiful and loved my the most wonderful God. So tooting my own horn......I feel like with all the negatives I have there are more positives. It has me questioning who do people see me as because I don't feel by any means that anyone tells me or compliments me. (see being needy I know) But I feel like I build people up daily and why are people stingy with their uplifting comments. So I may be a little unorganized. I have junk drawers and my closet is a mess. But my floors are almost always clean. My carpets are vacuumed everyday if not every other. I rarely go to bed with dishes in the sink. I always set the coffee and unload the dishwasher. When I do the floors at least every other time I do the base boards and dust and the bathrooms. I would think that that would make up a little bit for my hidden junk drawers and spilling over tupperware closet. So I am not the best laundry person but 29 days out of the month clothes are easily found and organized. And I get compliments on Claire everywhere I go. So Adam needs a haircut right now....I'm a little late. But on the flip side he has a great hair style that isn't spiky or long or in his eyes. I would like to think that him needing a haircut would be overlooked because let's face it....he doesn't go too often with shaggy hair before we get that done! So I don't check all my voicemails and when you look at my phone it looks like I have 15 unopened voicemails. But on the positive side......when I see a missed call...I CALL BACK! I don't go through listening.....I call back to talk. So I have unorganized unanswered emails and I am horrible with dates but I will rarely forget your name or your face or what you need prayer for!!! I was picked on today about my workout hair. hmmmmm Well, at least I'm working out. And on the flip side of that one.......There are things I care about in this world and things I don't. I care about being treated with respect and treating others with respect. I don't care about mistakes for the most part, people are people. I care about trying to live my life to glorify God. But I don't really care to keep up with the Jones. I care to teach my children about the love of Christ. I care that my family is fed and comfortable and loved. I care that my kids are happy. Anyway, point being I care about people and if that means my hair is flopped up, my face is broken out, my belly is flabby, my clothes are comfortable then please love me for me...take me as I am. And please....build me up too. This life is hard, being a Mom and a wife is the hardest thing I have ever done. I do enough on my own to tear myself and my self worth down.....I don't need you to help.

California Vacation

Well, the Dunagan family did it again! We went on a huge vacation to California for 10 days with the kids! Why did I say with the kids.....I can't think of anything we have done without them. All our trips are with them. But some people seem to think this is weird or hard to do. To us, it is normal. The kids did wonderful. Now how they bounce back to 'normal routine' tomorrow will be a different story.

We boarded the airplane for California on a Wednesday! What a blast. The kids had a great time on the airplane. I made Adam an 'activity' book and he worked on that book the entire time. Did not want to watch a movie at all....just wanted to do his activity book. YAY mom! Claire took a nap on the plane and after 4 hours we arrived in California. California was beautiful. I enjoyed every second of our trip. (except we all got sick but we still braved everything)

We stayed in Daly City at our favorite hotel chain - Hampton Inn. We were welcomed with a guest of the day sign and some nice treats. We spent 3 days in San Francisco. We did almost everything. Walked the entire Warf. Walked to Giardelli Square, walked up and down all the side streets. We went to Fort Point below the Golden Gate Bridge. It was pretty cool. We went across the bridge to Saciledo. We ate at an Italian restaurant in Saciledo. We went to the Golden Gate Bridge visitor center and hiked around to a cliff that over looked the ocean and might very well have been my favorite part. I couldn't help but wish that in a different time I could have lived there and enjoyed solo runs everyday. What I different life that would have been. It was so beautiful. We ate Clam Chowder on the pier overlooking Alcatraz. We ate fish sandwiches on Pier 39. We walked all the way to China Town! Loved the little walk. On our walk back we found a park and let the kids play. And of all things I almost forgot that I loved, loved, loved the seals!!!

From there we went to Yosemite National Park! Oh my word loved this! We stayed at the Teneya Lodge. It was a blast! It was very family friendly. Families were everywhere! And I absolutely loved that. We could sit by the campfire and roast marshmellows, we could ice skate, swim, play in the arcade, hike, sled...you name it from this lodge we could do it! They had 4 restaurants just in the lodge and I honestly loved this....if we were hungry we could just charge it to the room! The weather for this trip was perfect. It was cool with old snow on the ground and sunny. We had to layer because it was chilly to start our hikes but once into the hike we would be sweating. We saw some of the most beautiful sequoia trees. HUGE! Loved it! We saw some waterfalls and a few days later we had a 'lodge day' while it snowed fresh powder snow that covered everything! Then we went tubing in Badger Pass. The next day the snow started to melt and it was about time to leave from there.

From there, we went toward Napa Valley! And it was pretty. BUT ummmmmmm not our thing. Total let down for us! Enough said.

We stayed in Fairfield and went to Jelly Belly Factory! Blast! Then we went to a local California kids park called Fairyland. Good concept and all for the kids.

Then home!

mom confession #207

So here is an observation from my day. Well, let me back up a little....you need to know that I struggle with comparing myself to others and that has occurred full force since having kids. It has taken me a little bit of time to realize that even though my kids may not do some things as fast as yours but they may memorize something quicker. Each person is unique in their own way. God made us all with different talents....my kids included. So I to some extent stopped worrying that Adam doesn't color as well or write his name as well but he sure can memorize and remember important information.

I also compare myself to other Mom's. Today I realized we all have good and bad days. Now, overall I may still not be as knowledgable and firm as my sister, compassionate as my friend Amber, as smart and well rounded as my friend Colby, as fun, protective and creative as my friend Tommie, as energetic, positive and happy as my friend Nikki, as good as my friend Jessica or as funny as my friend Nichole........but on some days and I mean SOME days......I have my own qualities that I am proud of. I feel the need to toot my own horn here because let's face it....no one else is going to do it for me. But on some days... I dance with my kids to their own beat. On some days, I help them memorize Bible verses. One some days, I teach them how important it is to clean their space. On some days, I make them huge, fantastic yummy breakfasts. One some days, I make their FAVORITE meal. On some days, I let them jump on the bed. One some days I let them splash water where they want. One some days, I decorate their sandwiches into fun shapes. One some days, I play airplane. One some days, I go the direction they want to go. On MOST days I read and rock them at night. And on ALL days, I tell them I love them more than anyone and that if I could chose any other 4 year old boy and 18mo old girl in the whole world....I would choose them over and over and over and over again! And on ALL days, I pray with them and pray for them and pray over them!

So am I a great mom? no. Am I a perfect mom? no. Am I a loving mom? YES!

Now don't even get me started on what a crappy house cleaning wife I am! :)